Pity party of 1
As I’ve mentioned previously, we may be nearing the end of our time here. Unless someone can find a hidden position or stack of cash, I’ll be saying goodbye to my position and coworkers in a few short weeks. C and I have started to face up to the facts and started looking into jobs back home. Yesterday I was feeling pretty mad/bummed and today I was just feeling sad for myself. I even mentioned to C that I was throwing myself a pity party and just wanted to let myself be upset and angry. Of course, being an amazing husband, he was totally supportive and understanding.
Fast forward a few hours. During my shift today I had some very great signs from God. First, I had a long conversation with a patient about our time here so far. I told her about our travels and recommendations of places to visit. We even chatted some about traveling with Lacey and I recommended they take their pup when traveling. She commented how we must have had such a great time and what a wonderful opportunity it was. No less than an hour later I had to deliver bad news to a patient. Not the “I’m sorry you’re going to get a shot” kind of news, but some life-altering and heartbreaking news. Talk about a big fat dose of perspective!
As I was sitting at my computer getting things together for the 2nd patient I mentioned, I said a few words to God in my head. It went a little something like this: “Okay, God, I get it. It’s not the end of the world if we have to go back home in a few weeks. In fact, I should be grateful for such an opportunity. And not to mention our health, the health of our family and friends and so much else. I can’t promise to perfectly happy with our situation, but I will try harder to look on the bright side and stop feeling so bad for myself.”
I finished up my shift and noticed on the drive home that it seemed exceptionally dark. Darker than it’s been on my drives home previously. As I was driving, I noticed some stars dotting the night sky, but didn’t dare stare at them for fear of driving off the road into a ditch. When I got home, Lacey was dancing around the front door like she needed to go out (despite 4 trips outside during the day, 2 more than her usual). C and I took her on a short jaunt down the street to her favorite grass patch. While walking we looked up to the sky and it was filled with hundreds of bright, sparkling, beautiful stars just twinkling away. Okay, God, I get it! Point taken